Senator Natasha Pens down a satirical letter to Godswill Akpabio

In a brilliant and biting piece of satire, Senator Natasha H. Akpoti Uduaghan has issued a “formal apology” to Senate President Godswill Akpabio — dripping with sarcasm and fearless wit. Her letter, shared widely online, addresses systemic issues of entitlement, sexism, and political compliance within Nigeria’s legislative chambers.

 

SATIRICAL APOLOGY LETTER

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From the Desk of Senator Natasha Akpoti Uduaghan

 

“Dear Distinguished Senate President Godswill Akpabio,

 

It is with the deepest sarcasm and utmost theatrical regret that I tender this apology for the grievous crime of possessing dignity and self-respect in your most exalted presence. I have reflected extensively on my unforgivable failure to recognize that legislative success in certain quarters is apparently not earned through merit, but through the ancient art of compliance — of the very personal kind.

 

How remiss of me not to understand that my refusal to indulge your… “requests” was not merely a personal choice, but a constitutional violation of the unwritten laws of certain men’s entitlement. Truly, I must apologize for prioritizing competence over capitulation, vision over vanity, and the people’s mandate over private dinners behind closed doors.

 

I now realize the catastrophic consequences of my actions: legislation delayed, tempers flared, and the tragic bruising of egos so large they require their own postcodes. For this disruption to the natural order of “quid pro quo,” I bow my head in fictional shame.

 

Please find it in your magnanimous heart — somewhere buried deep beneath layers of entitlement — to forgive this stubborn woman who mistakenly believed that her seat in the Senate was earned through elections, not erections.

 

I remain,

Yours in eternal resistance,

Senator Natasha H Akpoti Uduaghan

Unafraid, Unbought, and Unbroken”

 

Senator Natasha’s letter not only highlights the entrenched culture of entitlement in Nigerian politics but also serves as a fearless call for integrity, courage, and true public service.

 

Her boldness sends a clear message: dignity, merit, and service to the people must never be sacrificed at the altar of political compliance.