First impressions are nonsense.
Let me tell you something.
Sometime last year, a guy intercepted me on my way out of Film House, Asaba, and asked me out. Fine person! Tall and chubby, just the way I like them… Well, with my plenty home training, I turned him down politely and continued my journey.

For where?! Oga continued following me o. He wanted to know why? So I told him I had a boyfriend who loved and cared for me, and I wouldn’t want to break his heart.



“So can I have your number please? We could build a platonic relationship. You seem nice and receptive.”
I laughed. Receptionist ni! See this one! In this time and age? All these guys that like to follow backyard to collect somebody’s investment… Better be kiafu!


Well, after much much, I gave Oga my number.

At some point, he began to call too much, asking for a date. I blocked his line. Date ko, calendar ni! Again, he resulted to text messages. I blocked that avenue too. Before I knew it, WhatsApp and Facebook Chat haff start. I discovered him and quickly blocked his hands off. Hian!

Then one evening as I was trying to sleep, I heard a knock on my door, and there He was. Standing. Smiling too. Very cute! Hian!

“How did you find me?” I asked.
“I love you.” He replied.
Love who? Is like this one is high. Sharp sharp, I banged my door on his face, and went back to sleep. But the picture of his stupid cute smiling face won’t just leave my head, no matter how much I covered myself with the blood of my boyfriend. God abeg o!


Fast forward to some months later. I got into deep trouble. Serious one. I felt I was gonna die from the effect. So I began to seek help. From friends and foes alike.
Guess what? In a twinkle of an eye, I looked around and I was standing alone. No boyfriend. No friends. Nobody. well some friends were kind enough to stay afar and Cheer me up with loud tunes:

“Ayo, you can do this!”
“Peno, e go better! God will see you through!”
“Ayo, you’re a strong woman. Stay strong for us!”
“Peno, fight! Keep your head above water! Don’t give up or give in, give down!”
Words. Words. Words. Everybody had one thing or the other to say to me. They wanted me to be strong. To fight. To be this and that, but nobody told me how. Nobody stood with me. Everything happened from a distance. No help, no direction. Nothing.


Gradually, I slipped into depression. I became bitter. Angry at anything and anyone. Tired. Drained. Distraught. Dejected. Almost insane.
At a point I attended every workshop/seminar. Listened to therapists. Tried making new friends, but still… nothing. I Sha gave up and withdrew myself from civilization. I’d switch off my phones many times, to make sure I was the only one in my space. I was alone.


A month later, I decided to jog on my street again. Had a “funny” story to write, and needed to clear my head a bit, so I could get in the mood.
As I jogged, I notice someone was also jogging from behind me. “Ugo, stop. Stop!” He called.

Egbami! Who told this stalker my name?! I was furious. When he noticed I won’t stop, he doubled his steps and caught up with me. I looked at his face. Fine man. Same chubby person. Stalker aiye! Jersey and boots…Designers. Imagine? Mtcheew! He’s even a bloody show off!

I rolled my eyes at him, and was about to continue my journey, when I felt him grab me. Into an embrace. I wanted to fight, but I was too tired to. Besides, the effect of the hug was seeping in. Very medicinal something. Unashamedly, I warned myself: Aunty Pen, you need this, camdan and collect.


Gradually, I relaxed into him. Like I wanted to enter inside his body. Boom! The tears came. I cried uncontrollably. Just as I was entering gear 1, shame started catching me. See me hustling for hug from the broad shest of a man that I have blocked on all platforms! Tueh!

As if Oga read my thoughts: ” Ugo, I see you. Cry all you want. Baby, this broad chest was specifically designed for you. So you better have fun and stop thinking nonsense.”


In my mind, I was like: Ugo ke? Who told this one my name is Ugo? Only family calls me that. How did he come up with such information?

While he escorted me back after jogging, I told him some things going on with me, I expected him to ask about my boyfriend and my friends. Surprisingly, he didn’t. Then I asked him why he wouldn’t ask, “Ugo, I am not here to judge you.” He replied.


We got to my house and I bade him farewell.
“Please, let me stay small na. I want to spend time. With you.” He pleaded.
I refused. Because my house was a mess. shyness and shame was killing me. Let it not be said among the brotherhood that my wife material cannot sew bowtie. Chukwu aju!


Again, as if he read my mind, he was like: I’d like to help you clean up. We could do it together if you don’t mind.”

Ah! Hope this one is not a psychic sha. Sha… He came in. He made breakfast. People, he can cook!!!! Oh!
Together we arranged the entire house.

Also I noticed he was really smart. Like he began to provide feasible solutions to all the puzzles I struggled with. And… he even repaired my wall clock. Handy man! Just the way I like them.


I felt him open the door, so I begged him to stay a bit more. Shameless me!
“No, I’m here. I can’t leave you. Even when you can’t see or feel me, I’m always here”. He replied.


Just as I was about to smile, he went; “Uhm, Babe, when we were coming upstairs, I noticed a guy struggling to clean up his house downstairs. Let me knock and see if he’d like some help. I’d be back. If you miss me too much, Just close your eyes and say my name, for I AM in you.


Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend, Jesus the Christ. The one whose love bankrupted Heaven for me and you.
I present to you a love that is real. Not sly. Not selfish. Very childlike. And most times, outright ridiculous. Reckless, even.
A love without a plan B.


I know we all have our reservations and stuff… but this worked for me. He worked for me. And He can work for you too. From me, He’s reaching out to you. You might have blocked Him on all platforms, but He still stands at the door of your heart. Knocking.

You don’t have to clean up your act or your house before you let Him in. You don’t need to impress him. He doesn’t judge anyone.
He really wants to help you like He helped me…but He won’t badge into you. Nah…

He’s a gentle man. Too refined for that.
Like me, you have to decide to open up the door and let Him in, yourself.

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